If Toad of Toad Hall Was a Member of Congress—Poop, Poop

Reading The Wind in the Willows gave me the chance to get reacquainted with one of literature's most memorable characters, the infamous Toad of Toad Hall.

For those who may have forgotten or who have never had the pleasure of making his acquaintance, Toad is an absolutist about enjoying life. He gets swept up in every moment, regardless of consequences, and lets his passions be his guide. He's conceited, completely narcissistic, and just thinks he's the most fabulous creature that ever lived.

Just like many of our national politicians, corporate sleazes-in-chief, and celebrities—except for one significant difference. Toad, when confronted by others about his faults, remains completely unapologetic.

Imagine, if you will, what the press conferences from people such as Michael Steele or Tiger Woods or Andrew Skilling would be like if they shared Toad's refreshing devotion to honesty. Here's an excerpt from The Wind in the Willows. As you read, substitute your favorite cad of the moment for the word Toad and I'm sure you'll see what I mean.

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"There's only one thing more to be done," continued the gratified Badger. "Toad, I want you solemnly to repeat, before your friends here, what you fully admitted to me. First, you are sorry for what you've done, and you see the folly of it all?"

There was a long, long pause. Toad looked desperately this way and that, while the other animals waited in grave silence. At last he spoke.

"No!" he said a little solemnly, but stoutly; "I'm not sorry. And it wasn't folly at all! It was simply glorious. . . . I've been searching in my mind, and going over things in it, and I find that I'm not a bit sorry or repentant really, so it's no earthly good saying I am; now, is it?"