The Society for the Prevention of Cheap Beer Drinkers

Decades ago, our property was the location of a roller skating rink called Island Park. The foundation of the rink is still here, right down next to the river. We understand from longtimers that in the summer, kids from White River Junction were bussed to swim at Island Park and on weekend nights, there was live music and dancing. In fact, many of the people who remember those times have more vivid memories of the parking lot than the dancing.

Now this property's previous owner was an elderly lady, and it had been a long time since she'd enforced her desire to keep trespassers off the land by the time we bought the place. Because of this long history, people had become used to thinking that this part of the river belongs to them.

We moved in here with a live and let live attitude. Getting after trespassers is no fun. BUT, and it became a big BUT, you just wouldn't believe the trash we cleaned from both sides of the river. You wouldn't believe the garbage we caught people throwing to one side (dirty baby diapers, broken glass, the styrofoam cups that bait fishermen use to hold worms).

There there were the kids who thought the rock outcroppings on our land were perfect for bonfires. Then there were the fiddlehead pickers in the spring, and, well you get the idea.

After two summers of this (oh, did I include the tubers who would get out of the river and then walk through our yard and gardens to get to the road) we had had enough and posted the land. And a five-year battle commenced to train people to respect our privacy rights.

It took time and sometimes nasty interactions with folks who believe our land is public because it's on a river (waterways are public in Vermont while land is not) but we now have a reputation among locals for terminal crabbiness so we get left alone more often than not.

But there is something about guys (and it's always guys) who drink cheap beer like Budweiser. This can—nearly full of beer—was left on our North Point rocks yesterday. We never find the empties from good beers such as Sam Adams or Harpoon or Long Trail. It's always, always, always the cheap garbage—Budweiser, Michelob.

Remember when General Stanley McChrystal talked himself out of a job recently? When I found out the guy drank Bud Lite Lime (that is too gross to contemplate) I was not surprised. Given the beer choice of jerks who leave their rubbish behind here, I think you can tell a lot about people by the malted beverages they drink.